Stupidity I Have Heard : The Main Food Groups

Travelling on trains with work has it's amusing moments. Overhearing a person having an inexplicably loud conversation in the Quiet Coach of a train can be very irritating ... except when the conversation goes like this:

"You've got to get him to eat all the main food groups ... yeah, you know, the five main food groups ... calcium, fat, vegetables, solids and liquids ... well, maybe he needs more liquids then"

I wonder if the five main food groups have changed since I went to school....

Conversations With Mr B : Baby Face

Scene: Mr B and I are standing at the top of our stairs. Mr B looks at me and randomly squishes my face.

Me: what are you doing?

Mr B: trying to see what our baby will look like.

Things I Want To Eat / Drink After I Have Given Birth

You could also choose to read this as a list of demands. Prepare yourself accordingly

1. Soft boiled egg
2. Fried egg with a soft yolk
3. Poached egg
4. Parma Ham
5. Melt-in-the-middle chocolate pud
6. Cheesecake which does not have to be checked for raw egg content
7. Pimms
8. Cups of tea at regular intervals without feeling queasy
9. Baked Camembert
10. Brie
11. Gorgonzola
12. Goats Cheese

Let's Play A Game...

We can call it "Anniversary Present Hangman".

The Rules are effectively the same rules as hangman (if you don't know how to play this, learn, then come back to play).

The topic is: things I have bought Mr B for his anniversary present (and things I am going to buy him)

Additional rule : you are allowed to guess one letter per game per day. That's your lot.

Extra additional rule: you are not allowed to tell Mr B.

Got it?!

Game One

_/_ _ _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ _/ _ _ _/ _ _/ _/ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _/_ _ _ _/_ _ _/_ _ _ _ _ _ _/_ _ _

Game Two


I am so totally taking this game out of commission now because Jill Bee is far too good at hangman and I would have to give the game away if I filled in her answers!!!! 

* * T E * * * * */T * A/* * */T * */* T/T * E/* * * T * * * * T E/ * * T * */* */* * * * E * * E * E

Game Three

_/_ _ _/_ _ _ _ _/_ _ _ _/_ _/_ _/_/_ _ _ _ _ _/_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _/ _ _ _ _ _/_ _ _

Game Four

_/_ _ _ _

You have 12 days (because then I am going on my holidays).

Go.

Five Minute Warning ...

I'm coming back.

I'm just warning you.

Because I don't want you to keel over and die of shock.

That is all.

Pillow Talk : The Thing About Hair

I am going through a stage at the moment where every time I wash my hair, large amounts of it fall out. I am not going bald or anything. It's just the way things are. I thought you should know this so that the following exchange makes some sense. 

Scene: I have had a bath. Large amounts of my hair are all over the bath. Mr B comes upstairs to bring me a cup of tea. 

Mr B: What is all this mess?

Me: It is an art installation of my hair loss. 

Mr B: Hair In A Bath Tub. I like it. 

* Mr B leaves the bathroom * 

(a few minutes later, in the bedroom)

Me: I have removed my art installation. 

Mr B: That's a shame. 

Me: I have moved it to the toilet. I am now calling it Hair In A Toilet Bowl ..... Mit Pee.

Mr B(looking thoroughly disgusted): Really?

Me: No. There isn't really any pee, but Hair In A Toilet Bowl sounded boring. 

Mr B: That's good. You could start showing them in the Baltic. It was in the news that they are suffering financial cuts from the government so you could support them with a series of art installations in the home. Think : Hair On The Sofa, Hair In The Curry ...

Me: Why Hair In The Curry?

Mr B: It is about the frailty of humanity.

Shameless Advertising ...

Dear All, 

Please have a look at my dear friend Jilleebee's fantastic website http://www.clart.co.uk/

The pictures are all taken by Mister Jilleebee and they are absolutely stunning! Keep an eye out for lots of exciting things happening on their website in the future!!

Much love and whatnot, 

Mrs B x