Mr B pretends to be an avid reader of a rather intellectual newspaper. I say "pretends", because I found out yesterday that he does not necessarily read the intelligent parts of the paper. Yesterday, he was reading the personal ads. You know the ones for people desperately seeking husbands and wives (to anyone out there contemplating this course of action, I'd just like to say don't bother : husbands are not all they're cracked up to be).
He was not reading the ads for himself. You would be forgiven for thinking that this is a good thing.
He was, in fact, reading them to find someone new for me. For when he's finished with me you understand.I told him I didn't want another husband. Rather than finding this romantic, Mr B responded by asking if this meant I wanted a sex buddy. Not one to give up to those less intelligent than myself, I replied "no, I don't want another man at all". I thought this would clarify the point. It did not. Mr B proceeded to attempt to find me another woman, stepping up his search to include the personal ads on the internet. He was very excited to have found me a woman in our area. I am somewhat less thrilled.
So, in response, here's a little personal ad of my own:
"Husband. Poor sense of humour. House-trained. Free to any home. If interested, contact Mrs B. Quick departure required."
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