Question Time

Mr B and I have our first wedding anniversary coming up in a few days time. This means one very important thing: I get presents. When I know I am getting a present, I turn into a small child with an enormous amount of excitement and natural curiosity. Mr B likes to refer to this as "being a pain in the arse". This is how it goes:

Mrs B: "Give me a clue"
Mr B: "No"
Mrs B: "One clue"
Mr B:"Why?"
Mrs B: "Because I want one"
Mr B:"But I always end up giving you more than one clue"
Mrs B: "Just one clue, I promise and then I won't ask for get any more clues"
Mr B:"Ok, it's small and it goes on for a really long time"
Mrs B: "Is it a Duracell battery?"
Mr B:"That's another clue"
Mrs B: "No, it's a follow-up question. You're allowed follow up questions"
Mr B:"No you aren't. This isn't Prime Minister's bloody question time"
Mrs B: "You're not the Prime Minister."
Mr B: "No, I'm not"
Mrs B: "I don't like the Prime Minister"
Mr B: "Okay"
Mrs B: "Did you buy it from a shop or the internet?"
Mr B: "I haven't bought it yet"
Mrs B: "Where are you going to buy it from?"
Mr B: "A shop. I've reserved it"
Mrs B: "When did you reserve it?"
Mr B: "Today"
Mrs B: "Where is the shop your buying it from"
Mr B: "Eldon Square" (a shopping centre)
Mrs B: "The top end by M & S, or the bottom end?"
 Mr B: "The top end"
Mrs B: "Was it Monsoon or that expensive jewellers on the corner?"
Mr B: "You know, even the leader of the opposition only gets six questions"
Mrs B: "So?"
Mr B: "Well you've asked more than six questions"
Mrs B: "Is it purple?"
Mr B: "I'm not telling you any colours. Colours are important"
Mrs B: "That's another clue"
Mr B: "Bugger"
Mrs B: "Is it green?"
Mr B: "That's another colour. I'm not giving you any colours"
Mrs B: "I meant eco-friendly"
Mr B: "Did you?"
Mrs B: "No. But is it green?"
Mr B: "I'm not telling you"
Mrs B: "Is it pink?"
Mr B: "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
Mrs B: "Does it have more than one colour?"
Mr B: "That's about colours"
Mrs B: "But it's not A colour, is it?"
Mr B: "Hmph"
Mrs B: "So does it have more than one colour?"
Mr B: "Yes"
Mrs B: "How many colours?"
Mr B: "No more questions"
Mrs B: "Does it have less than ten colours?"
Mr B: "No more questions. I'm not letting you have any more clues"
Mrs B: "But it's not a clue. It's a question"
Mr B: "Well you can ask another question tomorrow"
Mrs B: "Why not now?"
Mr B: "Because I said so"
Mrs B: "But this is Prime Minister's question time. You're not a dictator you know"
Mr B: "I know"
Mrs B: "So, does it have less than ten colours"
Mr B: "That's another question"
Mrs B: "Well just answer me this question and I won't ask any more"
Mr B: "Yes you will"
Mrs B: "I'll make you a deal: if I ask any more questions, you can take it back to the shop"
Mr B: "But then you won't have a present"
Mrs B: "Well, that would serve me right for asking questions"
Mr B: "I'm not taking it back to the shop"
Mrs B: "Good"

* Slight pause"

Mrs B: "So, does it have less than ten colours"

Mr B: "That's another question"

* Cue ten minutes of repetition, with each of us hoping that the other will back down first *

Mrs B: "But you know you're going to back down first"
Mr B: "That's another question"
Mrs B: "No, it's not"
Mr B: "No, you're right,  it's not"
Mrs B: "No it's not less than ten colours?"
Mr B: "I'M NOT TELLING YOU"
Mrs B: "Why? I won't ask any more questions. Just this one"
Mr B: "But it's more fun winding you up"
Mrs B: Silence
Mr B: "Is this me getting the silent treatment?"
Mrs B: Silence
Mr B: "I'll tell you the answer tomorrow"
Mrs B: "You'll be too tired tomorrow"
Mr B: "Why?"
Mrs B: "Well, I hear sleeping on the floor isn't good for you"
Mr B: "Nice one Mrs B"
Mrs B: "I'm not even kidding"
Mr B: "You can't make demands like that"
Mrs B: "Yes I can"
Mr B: "Fine. It's less than ten colours"

* Pause *

Mrs B: "Well is it less than five colours?"