Dear Muppet

Dear The Muppet Who Left Her Pyjama Pants On The Cycle Path,

Please explain to me, in detail, precisely how one goes about misplacing one's pyjama bottoms on a cycle path.

They have been there for a few days now. I have thus far deduced that they belong to a woman (they are pink) and that they are no longer attached to her person (there is no body in close proximity to the offending article).

I can just about fathom how you might lose a cardigan, or a baby's sock, but your pyjamas, really??

I do hope nothing awful occurred to facilitate the loss of your pyjamas, but given the volume of pizza boxes and beer cans in the general area, I have concluded that a good time was probably had by all. I do hope you haven't been doing unprotected shenanigans and forgotten to dress yourself afterwards. That would be most unfortunate. It would likely mean you have been indulging in reading Fifty Shades Of Shite, and that would be terrible indeed.

This being the case, please do retrieve your trousers (and your common sense) and locate some decent literature.

Kindest Regards,

Mrs B x